Am I on one of those hidden camera shows?
by burnt-rose15
Summary: When Help Earth and Scorpia 'team up' CHERUB will need help for facing this new terror- help in the form of MI6 agent Alex Rider. This is my first fanfic so please be nice :
1. Chapter 1

DISCLAMER: When I become a famous author, I'll buy the copy writes of both these series from Robert Muchamore and Anthony Horrowitz. Until then, I'll just have to stick with writing fanfictions for these awesome series which I do not own.

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><p>The man walked into the building with purpose. The leather soles of his shoes hit the marble and he quickly nodded to the guard standing by the door. He had come here for a meeting and was quite excited for it. His name was Fredrick Jameson; Fred to his friends, and current leader of eco terrorist group Help Earth.<p>

Until recently, Help Earth had been a stand-alone group of eco-friendly extremists. It had blackmailed thousands of businesses who were threatening the environment, blown up planes of executives of polluting companies and killed off anyone who was unfortunate enough to be classified as 'harmful to the environment.' Then, they had been contacted by Scorpia and a new partnership had aroused.

Fred Jameson entered the room and greeted the eight men at the table. They, the eight board members of Scorpia didn't greet him back-greetings were a waste of time. Fred was particularly irritated by the unspoken rules of the Scorpia board members. He knew that he wasn't like by them but they did ask for his help and he expected that they treat him with the respect they should give to their superiors.

"Good evening gentleman. I trust that you all are well."

The board members murmured their response. None of them liked Jameson merely because he wasn't Scorpia, The man was annoying and thought too much of himself. He thought that just because he was the leader of Help Earth he was now at the same level as King of the World or something. Jameson was a fool. Worse, he was now thinking that they needed the help of his amateurish organisation to the point that he was now thinking himself as project leader; earning many unattempted assassination plans concerning him from the real project leader, Zeljan Kurst.

"The final steps in our plan are being carried out now. As I speak, the executives of Morris Oils are being held hostage and tomorrow, the ransom note listing our demands and conditions concerning the hostages will be sent out to the CEO Matthew Morris. I expect that we shall get our demands fulfilled within the week."

"And what happens if it doesn't. Have you planned out measures if the plan goes wrong?"

The apprehension was voiced out by Brendan Chase. His laidback Australian accent masked his true nature as a ruthless and dangerous killer. During the cold war, he had killed hundreds of people because he felt like it while masking them as necessary kills.

"I assure you Mr Chase that this plan is fool proof. My men have planned out every minute detail. Help Earths' plans always work, unlike yours I should say. Help Earth do not make mistakes."

With ice in his voice, Zeljan Kurst stood up.

"If you say so, Mr Jameson. But we should warn you. We do not tolerate failure, especially from outsiders such as yourself. If your plan does not carry out according to plan and succeed beyond reasonable doubt, consider yourself, and your colleagues, affectively dead."

And on that cheerful note, Mr Kurst, and the nine Scorpia board members exited out of the room.

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><p>When summons from The Royal and General Bank come, naturally Alex ignores them. However, when they are resent in the form of four big suited men with sunglasses, guns and search warrants for one Alex Rider, it becomes more challenging to refuse.<p>

Half an hour and one excellent display of martial arts later, Alex sat down in front of Mr Blunt and Mrs Jones. Unsurprisingly, Mrs Jones was sucking a peppermint.

In the silence, Alex wondered whether someone was spiking them with drugs or something to make her addicted to them. The woman should call a Quit Helpline or something, really. Then, Mr Blunt started speaking.

"Was it really necessary to assault my men Alex? You could have just come when we summoned you last. It would have saved all of us the trouble."

"Yes Mr Blunt, but really you should be thanking me. If I hadn't attacked you men, you would still be blind to their incompetent fighting skills without the use of guns." retorted Alex.

"If you don't mind, I'll like my thank you now please."

Seeing Blunt adequately annoyed, Alex proceeded to annoy him even more by putting his feet up on the desk. Close to enough to Blunt's nose for him to smell the stench coming from Alex's trainers.

Standing up and moving away from his desk, Blunt resumed talking.

"Alex we are not here to discuss the incompetence of my agents. Rather, I'm here to brief you on your new mission."

Alex stood up so that he was almost level to Mr Blunt.

"And what makes you think that I'll accept this mission?"

Alex would never go on these missions without a really good reason or if there was another option. As much as he knew that these missions may be life or death for millions of people, he wanted to be a normal school boy. He wanted to have his life back before MI6.

Blunt ignored the question and just continued talking.

"You will be working with agents from a special division of MI5 as protection. This mission was considered too dangerous for them to proceed with but was also rated, by their own agents no less, extremely vital to the safety of the world. Rather expectedly, I refused. The mission was a joke. Something I wouldn't even let my most junior assistant partake in- an absolute insult to our agency. Then, this letter came."

A letter magically appeared in Blunt's hand and he handed it over to Alex for him to read. Secretly, Alex was tempted to ask Mr Blunt whether being a hireable kids' party magician was his night job and if he was available to do his next birthday party complete with balloon hats and disappearing rabbits. Instead, he swallowed* his temptations and read the letter.

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><p><em>Dear Mr Morris,<em>

_We are pretty sure you have heard about the recent kidnappings of the members of your executive board and are delighted to inform you that we are responsible for this. Your company has been threatening and polluting the environment for too long with your extraction of oil and selling them to the refineries._

_We will hold the executives hostage until the end of the month when we will kill them unless you comply with this list of demands:_

_You will shut down you company and will not open up any oil related businesses._

_You will pay for all the damages of the recent oil spill of your pipe line in the Gulf of Mexico._

_You will announce your decision to use your fortune to invest into the replanting of trees in the Amazon and renewable energy such as solar energy._

_Failure to do so will result in the deaths of your executive board members and greater consequences to come._

_Yours sincerely_

_Help Earth (with partnership from Scorpia)_

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><p>Blunt was quick to take away the piece of paper once Alex had finished with it and put it away (presumably in his hidden magical top hat no less). Alex sighed heavily before speaking again.<p>

"Is this a joke? This letter can't be serious. Help Earth, what's that-a school club?"

Alex didn't think that Scorpia had any part in this plan; he didn't even believe that the threat was real. Firstly, the name- no self-respecting terrorist organisation will name themselves Help Earth. They were practically asking to be mocked and taunted by the entire criminal world. Also, the letter they sent had absolutely no formality and detail. If you were putting in the name of an organisation responsible for a tenth of the world's terrorism, at least have the decency to actually act like part of it. Honestly, some people just have no class these days.

Mrs Jones finished her peppermint and took another out of her pocket while talking.

"Alex, this letter is very serious. The executives have already been kidnapped for three days. These Help Earth people mean business. We're not sure of Scorpia's part in it or whether their name was only used to gain more importance but the point it that this is not a bluff."

Alex took a deep breath before speaking again.

"Okay then, who will I be working with."

"Well Alex, you're not exactly working with normal agents. In fact, they are quite extraordinary. Not as extraordinary as you are of course but quite talented agents…"Blunt trailed off.

"Just get to the point Mr Blunt." Alex cut in.

Blunt sighed.

"They people you will be working with, they are an organisation. Their name is CHERUB."

Alex scoffed "CHERUB, I've never heard of them. What a name though. Are they a division of MI-Angel?"

Blunt shook his head.

"CHERUB is quite a unique organisation. Not one-of-a-kind exactly in its ideology but close enough to be."

Mr Blunt paused and took a deep breath.

"CHERUB, Alex, is a school for spies."

Alex took some time to process his words before speaking again.

"Am I on one of those hidden camera shows but for people with clearance? You do realise how unbelievable that sounds don't you…."

"Is it more unbelievable than you being a teenage spy…no? I didn't think so." Said Mr Blunt, quite confident in the unbelievability of own teenage spy.

Alex said "Okay then….So when am I leaving to meet them?"

Mrs Jones spoke up this time.

"Ugh…., I'm not sure how to put this to you exactly Alex, but CHERUB is an extremely proud organisation who for some reason wants to test your spying abilities; quite odd considering the chairwoman has read your file. You will actually be leaving now, as they want to start the tests tomorrow with plenty of time to begin the mission well ahead of the deadline."

Two men in dark suits opened the door to escort him out, fortunately not the same ones who had 'convinced' him to come to the Royal and General Earlier this morning. In their hand was a large overnight bag, presumably full of his clothes and belongings.

Just as he was about to exit out of the door, Mr Blunt spoke.

"Alex, we know that you are very capable. We expect you to show these CHERUBs that you are better than them. Defend the prestige of MI6 or, since we know that you aren't too fond of us, your own personal pride. Good luck Alex. I expect to be hearing about your success very shortly."

And with that, the door closed and Alex Rider left with the two men for CHERUB.

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><p>*can you swallow temptations?<p>

So glad when I finally finished this chapter. Hope my readers (if I have any) enjoyed this as much as I enjoyed writing this. Seriously, I wrote this through my exams so if I fail them, I have the knowledge that I at least wrote a chapter of my new fanfic. This is my first fanfiction (after many embarrassing months of having an account without any fanfics on it) so please be nice when you review (because you are going to).

I love reviews so if you have a second, please review.

Thanks so much for reading.

burnt-rose15


	2. Chapter 2

_Thanks so much to everyone who reviewed! You really made my day. It's people like you who actually got me to keep writing rather than scrapping this fanfic and deactivating my account and finding a nice hole that I can crawl in and die because of all the humiliation from not being able to write a decent fanfic (all the readers of this fic too!) I actually got most of the reviews during school hours so I was grinning like an idiot while my teacher(s) were wondering why._

_Anyway, here's the next chapter. Sorry for the wait. I'm in my last two weeks of school for the year so I'm wrapping up all my assignments (in case you don't know, I'm Australian so I finish my school year in December). I'll be probably uploading more/less during the holidays because it is the holidays but also because I'm going away….._

_So here it is:_

DISCLAIMER: Really hate doing these as it brings me back to my reality of not owning these amazing series by Robert Muchamore and Anthony Horrowitz…damn you reality!

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><p>Zara Asker was tired of having to change her clothes. The current one she was wearing had been artistically patterned with a mixture of vomit, mushed up food, and other un-nameable, but probably baby related substances. It was the price she had to pay to be a mother and though she loved the role, and her children, some things, such as her lovely ensemble, make her have to rethink her definition of 'love.'<p>

However, the four CHERUB agents in front of her didn't notice their chairwoman's attire as they were too busy reading the mission briefing that they had just been given.

_****CLASSIFIED****_

_MISSION BRIEFING_

_FOR JAMES ADAMS, BRUCE NORRIS, KYLE BLUEMAN,_

_KERRY CHANG, WILSON BURWELL, SERENA HOLLOWAY AND ALEX RIDER_

_DO NOT REMOVE FROM ROOM 153_

_DO NOT COPY OR MAKE NOTES_

_HELP EARTH_

_Previously Encountered by agents JAMES ADAMS and LAUREN ADAMS, HELP EARTH is a terrorist organisation whose goal is to eliminate all threats to the environment and 'save' the Earth. All agents should been updated on the recent movements of Help Earth (for more information see HELP EARTH file). Known members include Susie Regan, Fredrick 'Fred' Jameson and Brian 'Bungle' Evans._

_SCORPIA_

_SCORPIA is a terrorist agency that is currently responsible for a tenth of the world's terrorism, and has quickly risen to one of the top ten of most dangerous organisations in the lists every intelligence organisation in the world. They were encountered and defeated by agent ALEX RIDER during multiple missions. SCORPIA related missions are usually given to MI6 agents due to the high fatality rates when facing them. Known members include Zeljan Kurst, Major Winston Yu, Julia Rothman, Max Grendel, Levi Kroll and Doctor Three (for more information see SCORPIA file)._

_MISSION DETAILS_

_HELP EARTH have teamed up with SCORPIA to kidnap the executive members of Morris Oils- a leading oil company who were responsible for the Gulf of Mexico Oil Spill earlier this year. They are demanding a certain number of things which, unless fulfilled by the end of the month by CEO Matthew Morris, will mean the certain deaths of the executive members (for more see letter to CEO of Morris Oils). The CHERUB agents and ALEX RIDER will move into the same street as Fredrick 'Fred' Jameson- known leader of Help Earth. All agents will keep the same names changing their last names, however, to Thompson. As the mission is based in the United States of America, all agents will be working with CIA agents Wilson Burwell and Serena Holloway who will take on the role of adopted parents in the mission._

_MISSION OBJECTIVE_

_Agents will try to befriend the children of Fredrick Jameson whom he is very close to. Each agent will have a specific target to befriend:_

_Dani Jameson (15)- Kerry Chang_

_Trevor Jameson (16)-James Adams_

_Robbie Jameson (16)- Bruce Norris_

_Connie Jameson (17)-Kyle Blueman_

_ALEX RIDER shall not have a target as he is to provide protection and relay information back to MI6, the CIA and CHERUB. Agent Rider shall also be tasked with finding out SCORPIA's role in this kidnapping. All agents have been put in most of their classes with their targets without any suspicion._

_Once agents have made friends, they will try to be invited to the Jameson home where agents will be tasked with planting listening devices. Agents will also try to spy around the house for any clues to the whereabouts of the hostages and the full extent of Help Earth's plans. Any information from the CHERUB agents should be immediately relayed to agents RIDER, BURWELL or HOLLOWAY for sending to MI6, CIA and CHERUB._

_NOTE: ON THE 18__TH __OF NOVEMBER 2011 THIS MISSION WAS REVIEWED AND PASSED BY THE CHERUB ETHICS COMMITTEE ON THE CONDITION THAT ALL PARTAKING AGENTS UNDERSTAND THE FOLLOWING:_

_This mission did not pass the ethics committee without interference from the board of MI5 as this mission is highly important and there is no other option. This mission is rated EXTREME RISK and all CHERUB agents have the right to refuse and withdraw from the mission at any time of their choosing. Agents will be at extreme risk to violence, torture and chemicals._

_FOR ALL INTENTS AND PURPOSES THIS MISSION BRIEFING DOES NOT EXIST AND WILL SELF-DESTRUCT IF TAKEN OUT OF ROOM 153._

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><p>James Adams couldn't concentrate on the rest of the mission briefing through the highly annoying sound of Kerry Chang humming 'What Makes You Beautiful' by One Direction*. He didn't get why she liked them so much. Sure, they had millions of girls around the world in love with them and had amazing looks and personalities, but surely he was a better alternative? James couldn't get a grasp of a world where Kerry Chang was not absolutely crazy about him. However, he was also slightly thankful. At least it was One Direction. He shuddered as he thought about Kerry's The Wanted** stage.<p>

Then Zara cleared her throat.

"Uh..hum…..So agents, what do you think of the mission?"

Kerry, being the good little girl she is, shot her hand up and waited until Zara finally called upon her before talking.

"Well, it seems…..uh….dangerous? I know that it says that there are no other options but it is something so much more challenging than we, us CHERUB agents, have ever faced. Like, I won't pass up this opportunity but I am a little bit worried about it."

"Thank you Kerry for your opinion." Said Zara "But, we have your safety covered. MI6 has sent one of their agents for your protection, as stated in the mission briefing."

"Yeah Kerry," James added. "I would never have thought that you would be the one to make a daft comment…..OW!"

James cried out in pain as Kerry slapped him. He spent the next couple of moments nursing his cheek complete with a new red handprint, while giving Kerry 'I'm-so-going-to-kill-you-once-we-are- out-of-this-office' looks every time Zara was busy talking to Bruce or Kyle.

"…I agree with you Kyle. I'm quite curious to meet Agent Rider. I've read his file and it is quite impressive. I'm sure that he and the CIA agents will be arriving soon…Oh, sorry I have to take this, its agent Burwell. Just chat amongst yourselves while I do."

As Zara took the call, Bruce pulled up his chair closer to the others so that they could chat.

"So…..how's life?"

Kyle sat with a confused look on his face for a worrying amount of time before finally responding.

"Um….not bad actually; like I'm still looking for a boyfriend and all but besides that I'm pretty good."

Then, Zara interrupted the little get together.

"Bad news everyone; there's been an accident on the three agents will be quite late. I think you all should just return to your classes and I'll call you all when they're about ten minutes away."

Disappointed at having to return to their dull history class, the four CHERUB agents trudged out of the office.

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><p>Alex was actually quite surprised when the two black suited men didn't lead him straight to a car, but two, rather ordinarily dressed, people.<p>

"Hello, you must be Alex. I'm agent Wilson Burwell and she is agent Serena Holloway. We're Americans, from the CIA. I'm not sure if you have been informed, but as the mission we will be undertaking is in the USA, we will also be partaking in it. We've heard so much about you from Mr Byrne. He speaks very highly of you."

Alex registered the American accent even before the agent confirmed that he was American. Honestly, he wasn't a baby. You don't need to tell someone your nationality if they could most likely guess it from your very strong and very recognisable accent.

"Um….no, I haven't been informed that the mission is in America. I was told by my superiors that I will receive a full mission briefing when we arrive at the CHERUB headquarters…That's very nice of Mr Byrne to say that about me…

Alex tried to keep as professional as possible with the two agents but the conversation was too awkward for him to do it. What was there to talk about?

After quite a long silence between the three agents, agent Holloway decided to break the silence.

"I think we should get going shouldn't we?"

Nods and murmurs were given in reply as the three agents took the elevator to the underground car park where a brand new Mercedes was waiting for them.

Alex was impressed. Guessing that MI6 provided the car, he was surprised this car, out of all other cars, was given to them to use. He knew that MI6 had a ginormous*** budget but he expected them to be slightly more thrifty. However, he wasn't complaining at all as he slid into the back seat and took in the new-car smell and the soft leather seats.

Agent Burwell slammed his foot on the accelerator and the three agents made their way to CHERUB.

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><p>"Could James Adams, Kerry Chang, Bruce Norris and Kyle Blueman please make their way to the Chairwoman's office immediately? Do not return to your rooms to store your books first."<p>

Zara's high-pitched voice rang through the loud speaker as she called the four CHERUB agents to her office. It was quite embarrassing that she called them back to her office only ten minutes after sending them back to their classes. Apparently the three agents had found another route that bypassed the M4 and had allowed them to arrive at CHERUB campus earlier.

The four CHERUB agents raced down the corridor to Zara's office. They were thanking God that they only had to endure fifteen minutes of listening to Mrs Collins drawling on about the importance of the Battle of Hastings to British history. The four would have broken down the door to Zara's office because of the extra momentum that they had after running that hard if the door to her office wasn't already opened. With the door open, they crashed into Zara instead.

The four agents, slightly smelling vomit and baby powder in their mouths after involuntarily hugging Zara, sat down on the chairs that had been set out trying to look as professional as possible for the coming agents.

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><p>Alex felt the car slow down and knew that they had arrived at CHERUB. Looking outside the window, he saw a couple football fields, uniform, modern buildings and in the distance, some kind of course- quite similar (but easier-looking) to the assault course in the SAS.<p>

Alex got out of the car and was met by a bunch of men and women with the same smug 'I'm better than you because I belong to a super-secret spy organisation' look that the MI6 men had. Thankfully, none of them were wearing suits.

Alex, agent Burwell and agent Holloway were made to walk through metal detectors, undergo a full x ray (apparently an enemy spy once came in with a tracker dug into his femur bone) and a full strip search. Alex was thoroughly annoyed. Although this precaution was only nearly as bad as his airport trip from Los Angeles to San Francisco**** (he did not even want to think about that), it was still a paranoid and useless measure that wasted precious time. Agents Burwell and Holloway weren't as emotional about the safety precautions. Being Americans, they were quite used to these searches.

A good forty five minutes later, the three agents were being led to the buildings by one of the men who had now been revealed to be an instructor at CHERUB. The three were given an orange t-shirt with the CHERUB logo on it. As much as Agent Holloway tried to supress the thought, she couldn't help but scrutinise the hideous shade of orange the CHERUB people chose for their shirt. Being a spy organisation, t-shirt colour was probably the least of their priorities.

The trio were led into the building where children ranging from about eight years old to those in their late teens were hurrying for (presumably) their next class. Every pair of eyes was on them but they were quickly ushered away to a side door that led into an office.

A rather motherly looking woman sat behind a large wooden desk. As there was a desk plate saying 'Chairwoman' on it, Alex made a very informed guess that this was the chairwoman of CHERUB.

"Ah…. Hello agents. Welcome to CHERUB. My name is Zara Asker, and I am the chairwoman of CHEURB. These are some of my agents. You will be working with them on the mission."

Zara gestured to the four teenagers who were seated on chairs near to the book case. They had an obvious 'I'm-trying-to-figure-you-out' look that they were trying to hide but were failing- badly.

Alex studied the four agents closely. There were three boys and one girl. Two of the boys were rather lankily built but had a hard, toned body that suggested that they had been working out a lot. The other was very stocky and muscular- the kind you found in rugby players. He had close-cropped blond hair and the type of face that you just want to slap the smirk out of. The girl was Asian- dark hair, dark eyes, slender frame and rather short. She looked like the type of person to spend half her life with her nose in a book and Alex could quite picture her to be Hermione Granger-like.

Alex's observation only took a couple of seconds so everyone present in the room only noted a short pause before he started talking.

"Well, I was half expecting 'The Flock' from Maximum Ride considering your organisation's name is CHERUB. Hmm…. 'The Flock' may not be bad to work with someday, definitely will be interesting though… Anyway, you four will have to do. Not meaning to be rude, but I don't know your names. Care to fix that? I'm Alex by the way."

Bruce and James stared at Alex dumb-founded. Nobody had every addressed them with anything less than 'impressive!' Being CHERUB agents, child secret agents, they were considered prodigies, talented, extraordinary. Maybe it was because Alex was from MI6. Maybe it was just that his personality was more annoying than James'. Maybe it was because this agent was also a child. The CHERUB agents were discussing before why an MI6 agent would be needed if there were already two CIA agents on the mission. Now they understood. Alex was needed for where the CIA agents couldn't protect them without being to conspicuous. Alex could blend in with them- he was undercover protection.

While Bruce and James just looked at Alex funny with their jaws dropped open, Kerry proceeded to maintain any remaining pride CHERUB had in front of the three senior agents.

"Well, I'm Kerry, the blonde one is James, the shorter dark-haired one is Kyle and the weird looking one is Bruce."

A long silence invaded the room as the agents lacked anything to talk about. Zara decided to break it by talking in a very loud voice.

"So agents Burwell, Holloway and Rider, would you like to read the mission briefing?"

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><p>*I love One Direction! If you don't know who they are, save yourselves and find out who they are (most awesome band in the world with awesome songs)<p>

** And I love The Wanted too! (Reread everything in the previous explanation minus the first sentence).

***Love that word. Don't you?

**** No offence to any of my American readers, but the experiences I have of going through your airports aren't that great. Like our Australian airports are pretty bad but nothing can be worse than that airport screening at LAX that took OVER 1 HOUR to get through (shudders).

YAY! How was that for update time? I was writing this through classes since my exams are over now and we're really only watching movies (somehow related to the topic we're studying in the subject) in classes.

On mentioning exams…

I've gotten AMAZING marks (especially in English) for all my exams. Just goes to show you. Write fanfictions instead of studying and you'll ace your exams.

Thanks for reading this chapter and please review (or else)…..

burnt-rose15


	3. Chapter 3

You guys are the best readers ever! Thanks for all the reviews.

I've finished the school year now so that's good. I'm really sorry for the long update time but I was quite busy (little voice in the back of Burnt-rose15 's head yells out 'doing nothing!"). I'll try to update faster next time.

Thanks so much to all my loyal readers who don't abandon reading my story even with the long update time. You guys make me so happy!

Since it's nearly Christmas and I probably won't update before Christmas, I want to wish all my readers (and everyone else in the world) a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year. I love Christmas so I'm going to make it my goal to make this Christmas the best one ever for everyone. This means that I want all my readers to help me. Christmas is about spending time with the people you love and giving to others so spread the Christmas Cheer around please.

For those who don't celebrate Christmas, Happy Hanukah/whatever you celebrate too! Oh, and a Happy belated Thanksgiving (though I don't celebrate it since I'm Australian).

So on to the story now peoples!

DISCLAIMER: Dear people of the world,

Unless Robert Muchamore and Anthony Horrowitz give me the rights over the CHERUB series and the Alex Rider series, I will take away (insert whatever makes you happy here) from the world.

Yours sincerely

Burnt-rose15

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><p>Alex wasn't even trying as her ran through the finish line of the CHERUB assault course. Three of the four CHERUB agents, two CIA agents and Zara Asker were staring dumbfounded from a viewing platform a hundred metres away from the course. The weird looking one, Bruce, was banging his head on the ipad that was showing Alex's time for the assault course, hoping that the number that was being showed by the screen was all a hallucination or a computer glitch. Alex didn't think that it was fair.<p>

Here he was, being subjected to 43.69 seconds of absolute boredom while the others were allowed to watch and marvel at his amazing physical feats.

After having read the mission briefing, Alex and the other agents had been taken to an assault course to begin his tests. Throughout the very short journey there, he had been bombarded with 'encouraging' words from James that made Alex want to throw him out of the buggy they were riding on and run over him (though it still may not shut him up).

"You know Alex; the CHERUB tests are very challenging. Nobody in the history of CHERUB ever got full marks or passed every single part of it completely. The test is even hard for adults. I know you're MI6 and all, but it's okay if you find it difficult because it really is difficult. Just try your best okay?"

Right there and then, Alex was tempted to slap him.

Slowing down into a brisk walk, Alex swaggered cockily over to where the others were watching him, an annoyingly cheeky grin on his face. To add even more insult to CHERUB's tests Alex just had to open his mouth and start talking.

"Sorry that I took so long everyone. I wasn't really trying very hard since it was only warm up and all. I even slowed down because I got a bit bored towards the end. You probably use this course to test your younger ones right…..um…..what you call red shirts? So where's the real assault course?"

Alex was still grinning half an hour later with Bruce hitting his head with the ipad for a further ten.

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><p>The rest of the tests came and went and it wasn't even lunch when Alex stepped out of the exam room building into the sun with a great satisfaction in knowing that he had successfully proven to the CHERUBs (and probably the CIA too) in his, and MI6's superiority. He did a couple of cartwheels on the wet grass while reflecting on some of the tests that he had to do today.<p>

After the assault course, he had been made to spar with Bruce who was amazingly the CHERUB's best fighter. Alex made a show of disproving Bruce's ability by having him on the ground in less than ten seconds. He swore that he saw tears in Bruce's eyes as they shook hands and the snap of something bring broken in half by someone (probably James). Next, he had to murder a live chicken with a pen on Zara's table. Alex thought about doing it for a second before exiting Zara's office and wandering the campus. It took the CHERUBs about three hours to locate him and 'persuade him' to return for the other tests. The final test was an exam. Alex, having being forced by Jack to attend extra tutoring, found the exam ridiculously easy. He had written a 13-page essay on 'the perception of superiority some people and the effects that they have on the person's performance and lives.' He had also been asked (ordered) by Blunt to learn a couple more languages by MI6 (a couple being five in MI6's world) so the foreign language section of the test was easy (he was pretty sure that none of the CHERUBs, both staff and agents, understood Farsi).

Alex was confident that the CHERUBs would find his tests adequately passed.

* * *

><p>"I don't understand! This is a boy who is much younger than the rest of the agents he is working with and yet, his ability surpasses them all- by a lot."<p>

Zara asker had called an emergency staff meeting and for the last couple of minutes, been ranting on about the unbelievable ability of MI6's child spy.

"Zara, please calm down!"

Meryl Spencer was probably the only CHERUB staff member not border-line hysterical at finding out that their CHERUB agent pupils are inferior to MI6's single teenage spy. She was quite upset, but was attempting not to show it; hopefully, she would be able to set an example for the others.

"Just give him a couple of days with me Zara. I'll be sure to make him crack. Nobody has ever gone through Basic Training without finding it difficult."

Mr Pike did not believe a single word that was coming out of Zara's mouth. He had gotten to the point where he was considering the possibility that Zara's food or drink had been spiked by that bastard of an agent with hallucinogens that were making her hallucinate his feats.

"That's very nice of you Mr Pike, but Agent Rider is needed for a mission in a couple of days. No more tests are needed for him. The same goes for everyone here. No teacher or instructor is to challenge or test Agent Rider. We cannot afford to lose him because some hot-headed teacher wanted to prove that their teaching skills are good."

Zara took a deep breath.

"Now on to some happier news; I'm sure most of you will have heard that former agent and current mission controller…"

* * *

><p>Alex was stabbing an extremely tough steak with his knife as a large group of giggling CHERUB girls approached him. Unsurprisingly James, the ladies' man, was the first one to talk.<p>

"How are you going ladies? Have you done something to your hair? You look hotter than usual."

James smirked and attempted a smoulder before getting his face planted on the floor by a comparatively large girl with an excellent high kick.

"Shut up James!" The apparent leader, a tall blonde girl yelled. "We were coming here to talk to Alex."

She pouted and batted her eyelids in a failed attempt to try and flirt with Alex and look sexy.

"Hey handsome…heard that you're some kind of superspy from MI6 right? Well, we were wondering whether you would like to do a demonstration for us. A _private_ demonstration…"

Alex looked at her as if she had just insulted his pride and stole it, and skewered it over a fire of douchbaggery. He got up so he was looking down at her before proceeding to insult her back.

"No thanks. I prefer my women pretty. If you don't mind, could you ladies please leave? You are ladies right…thank God! I was beginning to doubt your femineity after seeing that moustache. God! It's even thicker than mine….especially yours" he said as he pointed at the leader. She immediately felt extremely self-conscious and covered her lips with her hand.

"Anyway, I want to get back to stabbing this terrible piece of steak. Good bye!"

And with that, Alex turned his back on the group of girls and began laughing his head off at the recently embarrassed James along with everyone else on the table.

* * *

><p>Fred Jameson sat back in his custom made Francesco Tratorini Italian leather chair as he observed the video recording of the arrivals hall in Los Angeles International Airport. A rather large, mismatched family was lugging their baggage through the crowd while the obvious father figure was talking on a phone.<p>

The family consisted of two parents, two blonde boys, two dark haired boys and a dark haired girl. The children looked around the same age except the clearly younger blond boy.

Jameson spat into his bin (3 metres away) with incredible precision. Effortless considering the spitting accuracy competitions he had entered as a child. He came first place in a state spitting contest and second at nationals- _just_ behind winner, and world champion spitter, Johnny Kemberson. He couldn't believe how gullible the CIA thought he was. He recognised the two parentals in the video automatically as agents Wilson Burwell and Serena Holloway. They hadn't even changed their appearances one bit. Whoever wrote the textbook 'Hiding in Plain Sight' by Christopher Collins was an idiot.

Fred wasn't quite sure however, about the children they were with. They looked quite organised and probably aware of the conditions of the mission they are helping undertake. He didn't know of any child spy organisations or any organisations that recruit children. However, he had a strange feeling about those children. There was something off about them.

Fred knew that he should inform the SCORPIA board members about the arrival of the CIA agents. However, this was his assignment. He wasn't going to let some moody, self-absorbed, old, amateurish SCORPIA members ruin this. He was going to prove to them that he was better than them.

At the exact time that Fredrick Jameson decided against informing the board members of SCORPIA about the arrival of the CIA agents, they, the board members of SCORPIA were holding their own private meeting about the matter. Several recordings were being played simultaneously on the hundreds of plasma televisions that lined the walls and even the door.

The biggest television was showing Fredrick Jameson dancing in his office (thankfully in private) while watching a recording of the Los Angeles International airport's security tape from earlier in the morning. The televisions on the opposite wall were showing the airport security tape, zoomed in on a clearly stressed family with a misfit-looking bunch of children.

* * *

><p>Unlike the big-mouthed Fredrick Jameson and his embarrassment of an organisation, Help Earth, SCORPIA knew exactly who the family members were. SCORPIA had known for years about the existence of CHERUB. Even one of their own agents had defected to the winning side and became an assassin for SCORPIA. That assassin was recently killed off after all the information he had about CHERUB had been given away. The two parents were CIA agents, as Fredrick Jameson had noted earlier. Their identities were not well concealed. You could even look them up on Google and find their Facebook profiles.<p>

It was the smallest child in the family who was most peculiar. SCORPIA of course, knew who exactly he was. Although his face had been surgically altered, it wasn't rocket science to figure out who he was- that it, if you were from SCORPIA. Alex Rider; the name was tabooed in the SCORPIA society. Before the fateful Invisible Sword project, SCORPIA was a named feared and respected throughout the world. They were unstoppable, ruthless and after Invisible Sword, humiliated. The stupid MI6 agent had killed of Agent Nile, stopped Invisible Sword in its tracks, and killed Mrs Rothman- or so MI6 and the rest of the world thinks.

Thanks to the author SCORPIA commissioned, Anthony Horrowitz, the world now thinks that the whole Invisible Sword affair was fiction. SCORPIA did not want people to find out about their failure and instead, invested into making themselves, and their 'project' part of the world of the imagination. The biggest need for fictionalising their image was the fact that SCORPIA needed to hide the fact that Mrs Rothman didn't perish that fateful day when invisible sword was foiled. The woman who was crushed by the hot air balloon was a real bag lady whom SCORPIA arranged to walk there just as the hot air balloon was going to crash down.

Mrs Julia Charlotte Glenys Rothman was sitting at the head of the table, her eyes zeroed in on the video of Alex Rider. The unquenchable thirst for revenge ravaged her eyes as she followed Alex's ever movement on screen. Mrs Rothman hated Alex more than he hated happy people or losing, or even puppies. That boy had caused them more trouble than anything else. Sure he was useful and had enormous potential, but she wanted him to die. She wanted to rid his ugly face from this Earth. She had already gotten rid of Julius Grief, since he had Alex face, and quite enjoyed torturing him and making him beg before shooting him (in multiple places), but it didn't give the same satisfaction as she knew she would have by killing the real Alex.

Unfortunately, the rest of the board members didn't have the same plans for Alex. While Mrs Rothman was obsessed with revenge, they were obsessed with opportunity. SCORPIA saw Alex's talent through his annoyingness and plotted to use it to their advantage. They were planning to use Alex to destroy Help Earth. The stupid organisation had had enough time playing the ultimate bad guy. It was time they returned to their natural place- a smoking pile of rubble and garbage that even rats turn up their noses at. SCORPIA will help make Alex's mission a success and in the process, destroy Help Earth. Maybe in the end, they will try to recruit him again. No matter what, SCORPIA knew its goal. It needed to destroy Help Earth.

* * *

><p>Alex was dying from over exposure to stupid think-they-are-so-amazing CHERUBS by the time the 'family' arrived at their new Los Angeles house; or should Alex have said, mansion. The Johnson family, as the misfit bunch of agents from different agencies are to be called for the mission, live in the Beverly Hills area. With the postcode 90210, it was home to the rich, famous and wanted. As all spy organisations know, money usually requires something daring, dangerous and probably illegal to amass it. All those big time criminals are paid big money to do others' dirty work. People who live in these wealthy areas probably don't even realise that their dear old neighbour Ms Abercrombie, who feeds their children cookies and loves gardening, was once an assassin and was responsible for the death of former US president John. F. Kennedy and later blamed it on poor Lee Harvey Oswald. The affluent areas of the world are crawling with practicing and retired criminals. Because of this most undercover missions are undertaken with great luxury and expense. Though spies may wallow and complain about terrible work conditions and having to dodge 10 bullets while fighting of a giant crocodile that was (gesturing with their hands) <em>this<em> big, in truth, most missions were like a paid holiday.

As Alex lugged his suitcase (Louis Vuitton for the purposes of the mission), he did a mental recap of the gadgets that he had received from Smithers and their supposed uses. The day before his departure to Los Angeles, Smithers had arrived to present Alex with his gadgets. He made a very dramatic and hilarious entrance as he parachuted down into the middle of a rugby match. The sight of his gigantic body landing with a graceful thud was enough to scare the all of the participants of the rugby match and their spectators- much to Alex and Smithers' enjoyment.

The large eccentric man, who was also a certified genius, was Father Christmas to the spies of the world. Carrying a large red sack, almost as if to complete the picture, Smithers lugged himself and his large belly over to somewhere he and Alex could talk in private.

"Alex chap, I see that you, like me don't like the CHERUBs very much. They're stuck-up annoying brats for all I see so I expect you, to protect our MI6 pride as if you were defending your beloved Chelsea- not that I understand why. Everybody knows that Manchester it the best team in the league. Anyway, I've got some excellent toys for you this time, including what's been on your wish list for a long time- a _gun_. Ever since the Scorpia-Malagosto incident, Mr Blunt and Mrs Jones have been considering giving you one since we now know that you've been trained to do it; and trained better than some of the senior field agents with the gun, actually."

Alex was surprised. As much as he knew that he was being sent on the mission for the protection of the CHERUBs, he anticipated that he was meant to fight with his intelligence, bare hands and model-like attractiveness to protect them. The gun was new. It was a sign. Alex felt that this time, MI6 didn't just want him to be successful in this mission, but to also make a point of his superiority and talent. They wanted him to crush the CHERUBs' sprits like a cockroach. It took him every little bit of his self-control to not start screaming from happiness from receiving a gun.

Smithers began to unload the contents of his sack.

"Well Alex, here are some clothes. Since you're meant to be filthy rich, I've put designer labels on all of them. The glasses have night vision capabilities, the wet suit can insulate your body for up to twelve hours and the beach necklace is fitted with miniature bombs on them which are activated when you separate one from the others. It has a ten second delay. All the other clothes don't really have any other special properties. They are all bullet proof, motion tracker proof- they've got a special tracker jammer installed in them, and of course, stylish. I may be old, but I know enough to know that being fashionable is very important. The gun is on the bottom of the sport shoes since I expect that you'll use them the most by the way."

"Here," he said, gesturing to the next item "is a watch. It can be used to contact MI6 and the CIA. Pressing the buttons in the right combination will activate a voice recorder which will be sent as you speak to our offices. It also hides a grappling hook. It comes with a motor, and can lift up to three hundred kilograms. I tried it on myself so I'm confident that it will be sufficient to hold you and at least two others."

Smithers took quite a while getting the last item out, dramatically heaving whatever is inside the sack as if he were trying to lift a washing machine. It was quite disappointing considering that when he did get it out, it was revealed to be an apple mac.

"This, Alex, isn't an ordinary apple mac. It works just the same, except the code breaking and MI6 and CIA linkage programs, but it also includes…" Smithers slid off the battery case, and removed the apparent interior to reveal….another compartment. "This compartment contains listening devices. They are to be placed on the target's skin and are permanent. They are virtually undetectable Alex."

Alex stared at Smithers for quite a while before talking again.

"Thanks Mr Smithers! These are awesome. I bet that they're a million times better than the CHERUB's stuff- if they even have stuff."

Smithers ruffled Alex hair.

"You're welcome Alex. I better go now chap. I don't want to miss tonight's episode of 'Britain's Got Talent.' I hope Michael will win. His rendition of Fast Car was wow. I couldn't stop replaying it the day after. Well, bye now lad. See you late. Don't get yourself killed. I would hate to see you come home in a sealed envelope."

And Alex was left alone in the field while the shadow of a very fat man left the campus.

* * *

><p>James was silently fuming in his room while strangling a teddy bear- a habit his anger management counsellor had recommended him to do to let off a bit of steam. He couldn't believe that that stupid MI6 agent had gadgets and he didn't. However, he wasn't just angry that Alex had gadgets but more that he was younger than him. James had a huge ego and everybody knew that unless people helped blow up his head, he would throw a fit like a little baby.<p>

James clenched his fist tighter and the head of the bear snapped off and fluffy stuffing started flying around the room.

"It isn't fair!" he screamed and he threw the little body of the teddy bear at the wall and kicked the head out of the window where it landed in the neighbour's pool much to the annoyance and shock of the poor lady sun bathing next to it.

When James heard that the MI6 he was going to work with was going to be younger than him, he had expected to be giving him advice and correcting his mistake all the time. He didn't expect to be embarrassed by the agent and his pride crushed.

Thankfully, he wasn't alone.

When they were still at the CHERUB campus, all the black shirts had expected the same. Agents here and there kept trying to pull away Alex and take him to whatever course they were trying to teach him. Not one of them had managed to unveil a weakness from Alex no matter how hard or complicated the task they were attempting to prove their superiority in.

While most agents were trying to test Alex in physical skills, one agent tested his intelligence. Agent Bryce Cunningham was the CHERUBs' champion code breaker. He was partly the reason that the British Army was a feared power throughout the world since he stole information from the Americans without them suspecting to the point where the Americans would be dumbfounded by the similarities in the British's 'new' technology. Bryce gave Alex coded message 30982 which the British code breakers and Bryce Cunningham had worked on for two years before finally cracking it.

The MI6 spy took one look at it before handing it back to Bryce with the formula and the solution- 'Late night- Not going to be home for dinner- love you honey.'

After that, no one even so much as gave Alex a riddle since they wanted to protect what little pride the CHERUB organisation had.

James was still fuming when he heard a knock on his door. A blond head appeared in the doorway and revealed to be the subject of James' fits for the past hour- Alex.

"James, mum is calling the family down. She says that we need to have a 'family' meeting. She sounds a bit stressed so it must be important. We're meeting her at the dining table okay?"

Alex left the room as James threw a pillow at his door and screamed out "Whatever!" However, James still decided to come to the meeting. He was part of this mission and wasn't going to let Mr-I'm-so-perfect-that-I-don't-make-any-mistakes get an easy win by not showing up to a meeting.

This was his mission. He was a black shirt CHERUB agent and he was going to be better than Alex.

"You better watch out Alex."

* * *

><p>Serena Johnson called down her husband and adopted children once the movers and the housekeepers had left the house. One by one, they trudged down the stairs and met her at their sprawling dinner table. Kerry came first followed by Kyle, Wilson, Bruce and Alex. James predictably, came down last and even then, ten minutes after Alex, took his time and walked at a leisurely pace like the royal pain he was.<p>

Once James had sat down and was offered an iced lemon tea and his crown (he asked for two teas and received a smack from Kerry instead), Serena proceeded to start talking.

"Okay team. The cleaners and movers are gone and I've already checked the house for any possible bugs. The windows are now sealed and soundproof so the neighbours and anyone outside would not be able to hear our conversation. We're safe to talk."

Everyone began to relax once she said those words. Their dynamic family façade began to fall apart and the children returned to their original factions- the CHERUBS on one side of the table and Alex sitting alone.

"Well, I need to make clear a couple of details. Firstly, you all start school on Monday at The Ridgeview School. You are all starting mid-term so I expect all of you to catch up quickly. The Jamesons are quite active in the school so I want all of you to enrol in extra-curricular activities. Alex, you will be starting as a freshman. Kerry, James and Bruce are sophomores. And Kyle, you will be a junior. Wilson and I work from home running our multimillion dollar babysitting services cooperation. All of us are keeping our first names but our last name is Johnson. Alex and James are biological siblings and so are Bruce and Kyle. Kerry is just your adopted sibling. Any other questions anybody?"

The CHERUBs and Alex shook their heads but Wilson raised his hand and waved it around in the air in a kindergarten manner. After looking oddly at Wilson for a bit, Serena finally pointed at Wilson to start talking.

"Yay, finally! Okay, well, since we are going over details, I was wondering where we took our honeymoon. I mean, wouldn't it be cool if we went somewhere really exotic for our honeymoon like…Bora Bora. Oh my God! That would be so cool! Oh, or maybe the Cook Islands or Guatemala? Maybe even Seychelles? Oh I know, we could have had a very long holiday and travelled around to different destinations. How long did we go? Oh maybe we went for a month; or maybe three months? Or maybe…."

Serena looked dumbfounded as she tried to contemplate how she should react to the very childish musings of Wilson. Instead, she chose to walk away from the still babbling Wilson.

Her adopted 'children' followed suit and left their adoptive 'father' alone with his babblings.

* * *

><p>OMG! This chapter took ages to write (mostly because I was lazy but also because I had a massive writer's block trying to write Smither's little scene which took about a week and a half to actually complete).<p>

Well for your information, I'm on gmail so I get little popups every time I get an email from fanfiction saying that I've got a review/story alert/favourite from this story. For those readers who have fanfiction accounts and have posted fanfics on them, you would know the unbelievable joy you get from them. So please review and I'll give all the new reviewers a shout-out in my next chapter.

Anyway, for all you bad people who didn't read the author's not thing at the start of this chapter, (which you should since it has stuff I want to tell you) I just want to say again Merry Christmas/Hanukah/ Happy New Year/whatever you celebrate at this time of year (I'll probably update before Chinese New Year so I'll mention that next chapter).

Happy Holidays (and please review)

Burnt-rose15


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